Quotes - More UKC Quotes

< sigwinch> ALL HAIL ATLASSIAN DATABASE CONNECTIONS
< bunu> sigwinch: we do not all hail database connections
< bunu> only Tim deserves that honour
* Ritsuka hails bunu
< Ritsuka> no response on any channel
< Ritsuka> must not be intelligent life, Captain
* bunu thumps Ritsuka
< Ritsuka> it's aggressive though. launch photon torpedos!
< bunu> QUANTUM TORPEDOES, FULL SPREAD
* Ritsuka locks phasers on bunu
* bunu performs the picard maneuver
* Ritsuka is not scared by bunu straightening his uniform
< bunu> haha
< bunu> you should be

< cake> Ritsuka: ayleid asked me to remind you: I've forgotten what I was supposed to remind you about, sorry. :\
< Ritsuka> !remind ayleid every 5 minutes have you remembered it yet?
< cake> Ritsuka: OK, I'll remind ayleid about that at 2015-10-15 20:29:50
< Ritsuka> if only it worked that way

< zelate> the official combined figure for my astra estate was something like 72mpg which you could only achieve by reversing it out of the back of a C130 mid flight with the engine idling
<~Exopaladin> I kind of hope that was printed in the manual

16:58 < Eek> one of my colleagues has unexpectedly shaved off his beard. I said 
             "You know... without a beard, you look like a deformed foetus". 
             Apparently that's insulting? :o

<Elench> Has anyone /not/ played Holmes at this point?
<moocow> I did in a computer game!
* gooodger plays dvorak's humoresque no. 7 over and over while moocow trudges around a pre-rendered atrium
<moocow> gooodger: ah you played it too :p

< Joe> #fite zenith 
* Marvin urges zenith to repent and open your heart to the ways of the Unix command line.
< zenith> rm -rf *Joe*
* Joe is zenith-insensitive
* zenith fite Joe 
* Joe mounts zenith :o
* zenith spins up
< Joe> :o
< zenith> mount error 13
* Joe fscks zenith

< Ritsuka> "Clark Kent! I know who Superman is!"
< Joe> Ritsuka: $ dig clark.kent.ac.uk
< Joe> NXDOMAIN
< Joe> i am disappoint :(
< Ritsuka> Joe++
< bunu> that is a shame
< Joe> it should be created
< bunu> so nobody in IS has a sense of humour
< Joe> and only have a SRV record for the superman service
< bunu> Joe: so what does a superman service do
< Joe> it stops ntp, and sets the clock back by an hour.

< Vroomfondel> as root: service sshd disable
< Vroomfondel> er
< Vroomfondel> also wrong chan
< zenith> :o
< Joe> sudo systemctl stop Vroomfondel 
< Ritsuka> Joe: Vroomfondel is too old-skool to use systemctl
< Ritsuka> booting him probably requires POKEing memory addresses by hand
< zenith> how do you even do that?
< Vroomfondel> you have to twist both my nipples to flood the chamber and then pull my starting handle
< Ritsuka> where is your starting... oh
< zenith> what grade of fuel?
< Ritsuka> 69
< zenith> is that vintage?
< bunu> graymalkin: http://m.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-32009961
< Gwyn> Title: London protesters 'chase UKIP leader Farage out of pub' - BBC News
< bunu> Ritsuka: unfortunatly Vroomfondel's starting handle is out of comission at the moment, apparantly something to do with structural integrity
< Vroomfondel> it got over-used
< bunu> it cannot even hold itself up these days
< bunu> Vroomfondel: ;)
< Vroomfondel> 'm not *that* old yet
< bunu> Vroomfondel: there is no need to hide the truth here
< Vroomfondel> if I admit to age-related diseases I just make xand and Tim look bad because they're much older

< Joe> http://m.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-31871532
< Gwyn> Title: Illegal immigrants smuggled out of UK and back again - BBC News
< Joe> pfft what
< zenith> is that to avoid being deported?
< Joe> yes
< zenith> haha, if deported the government pays for the transport doesn't it?
< Joe> I wouldn't know
< zenith> i guess they are saving the tax payer money by doing that
< Ritsuka> the government really needs to employ Elbonian Air to send illegal immigrants home
< Joe> ryanair would suffice
< Ritsuka> Joe: that's going too far
< zenith> lol
< bunu> nobody should have to suffer ryanair

< bunu>  there was a porno filmed on campus?
< Dark-Side> yes
< Dark-Side> in parkwood mostly
< bunu> when was this
< Dark-Side> Awhile ago
* bunu did not know this
< Ritsuka> bunu: i'm sure you can be in the sequel
< Ritsuka> (holy crud, i so nearly wrote SQL)
< bunu> lol
< zenith> Ritsuka++
< Ritsuka> database porn
< bunu> Ritsuka: an aquired taste
< Ritsuka> bunu: unenforced foreign keys, the ultimate taboo
< bunu> i here the sub genre of austrian mideget database porn is making a comeback
< Ritsuka> bunu: how are they selected for the role?
< bunu> SELECT * FROM …
< Vroomfondel> grant role ...
< zenith> s/r/i/ ; s/e/l/
< Marvin> giant role ...
< Dark-Side> thats what she said
< Ritsuka> select * from PornStars where midget = 1 and austrian = 1;
< bunu> Ritsuka: could be a large cast
< Penguin> limit = 5;
< bunu> Penguin: well that scuppers the final scene then
< Penguin> gonna have a scene based on snow white and the seven dwarfs?
< bunu> Penguin: how did you guess
* bunu forces Penguin to sign a gag order
< Ritsuka> not THAT kind of gag order
< bunu> Ritsuka: shit did i confuse the two
< bunu> which one was Penguin meant to get
< Ritsuka> well, the paper one is over there
< bunu> i knew something wasnt quite right